How to Get Rid of Shameful Feelings

Feelings of shame or feelings perceived to be shameful are distressing and sometimes unbearable. Shame is often connected to feelings of guilt, alienation and insecurity, and frequently stem from childhood experiences. Healthy human feelings of desire, anger and ambition are sometimes perceived as shameful by the person who experiences them because he believes he is unworthy of love or success. It can take time to heal because such beliefs are so deeply rooted. Talking to a therapist or joining a support group and doing inner child work are useful first steps in getting rid of shameful feelings.

Instructions

• 1

  Talk through your feelings. Talking to someone such as a psychotherapist, rabbi or priest is an important first step in helping to heal feelings of shame. Such feeling are sometimes so deeply rooted in the psyche that the person who experiences them believes that he is worthless, explains Jan Fable, a Connecticut-based psychotherapist. Talking about such feelings allows you to explore past events that triggered feelings of shame and to identify defenses that prevent you from getting to the core of the problem.

• 2

  Explore emotional freedom therapy. This therapy, also known as the tapping technique, is believed to help release deeply rooted negative feelings, such as shame. To get rid of shameful feelings, simply focus on the feeling of shame, rate its intensity on a scale of 1 to 10 and tap on specific acupuncture points on your head, face and hands with your fingers. Visit tapping.com for a free video demonstration of how to use emotional freedom techniques.

• 3

  Embrace your inner child. Feelings perceived to be shameful are often rooted in childhood wounds and traumas. According to the American author and personal growth guru John Bradshaw in his book, "Healing The Shame That Binds You," healing shame involves reintegration of parts of you that were disowned in childhood. Record your feelings in a journal, write dialogues and use visualization techniques to connect with your inner child.

• 4

  Adopt a positive affirmation. Say ""I love myself and I accept myself exactly as I am, right now, at this moment," out loud and as often as you need to, and soon you will start to believe it.