How to Help Children Cope With ODD

Oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is difficult for both parents and the child with ODD. The characteristic rebellious, defiant and angry behavior interferes with the child's normal development, interrupts interpersonal relationships and negatively impacts academic performance. Meanwhile, parents often discover that their best intentions and techniques do not help. In fact, they often perpetuate a negative cycle. They lose patience with the ODD child's resentful, vindictive and often downright annoying behavior. In the middle of this turmoil, it's important to focus on helping the child with ODD learn to cope with their disorder and improve their behavior.

Instructions

• 1

  Educate yourself. You need to completely understand ODD before you will be able to help your child cope with it. Realize that ODD is caused by a combination of biological, social and psychological factors, and that your child is not bad, spoiled or undisciplined. According to information from the American Association of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), brain imaging studies suggest that children with ODD may have differences in the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and impulse control. As you learn more about ODD, you'll realize that you may need to learn new ways to discipline and interact with your child.

• 2

  Find professional help as soon as possible. Obtain a diagnosis and enter counseling with a mental health professional. Encourage your child to participate in therapy that teaches him anger management, problem-solving, flexibility, social skills, alternative ways to respond to stressful situations, and how to decrease negativity. Establishing a relationship with a mental health professional also gives you access to support and information.

• 3

  Reassure your child with ODD by noticing their positive actions. The behaviors of ODD can create a negative cycle that make it easy to focus on all the misbehaviors and defiance. Look for what your child is doing right and make it a point to tell him. Keep it short and factual; a brief statement about what he did and the positive skills being used. This progressively builds a supportive rather than contentious relationship.

• 4

  Establish age-appropriate rules and consistently enforce them. If your child is old enough, let him participate in family sessions to determine rules and appropriate punishments. Write them down and put them up where they can serve as a visual reminder. Then consistently implement them. Develop a positive behavior plan that offers rewards earned for the completion of the desired behavior.

• 5

  Pick your battles. It's a common phrase but it's even more critical to follow when your child has ODD. In his book "The Explosive Child," psychologist Ross Greene recommends prioritizing behaviors into three figurative baskets. Basket 1 includes the non-negotiable safety-related issues that are always enforced. Basket 2 holds the behaviors or issues that have a high priority but are not worth fighting about. Instead, these issues represent opportunities to teach skills such as how to compromise and communicate. Basket 3 includes all the behaviors that you will forget about for now.

• 6

  Encourage your child with ODD to take a time-out if they are about to have a meltdown or become defiant. You should put this advice into action and take a time-out any time you feel conflict is about to spiral out of control. Dr. Ross Greene states, "Instead of asking yourself, 'What's it going to take to motivate this kid to behave differently?' ask 'Why is this so hard for this child? What's getting in his way? How can I help?"