Therapy Techniques for Angry Children

Therapists face many challenges when working with angry children. It may be impossible to reason with young children or help them cognitively understand their emotions. Parents of angry children may be abusive or angry as well, which could result in setbacks during treatment. Play therapy techniques result in a slower process of change than adult therapy techniques, which often include a higher level of understanding and retention from the client. There are, however, a variety of effective ways therapists can work with angry children.

Therapist Reaction

• Remain calm even when children are escalating. This requires conscious effort and may include strategies such as deep breathing and self-talk. Abdominal breathing may be necessary to relieve physical symptoms such as rapid heart rate and shakiness. Self-talk can be used to remind you that you are the authority in the room and that the child has no power over you. Body language must reveal an open and inviting posture so the child begins to feel comfortable.

Assess

• Assess the situation and the specific child's needs. This will be easiest if you have been working with her for an extended period of time. Maintaining boundaries is always necessary, but sometimes slight physical touch can be soothing for an angry child. In some cases, it may be more effective to give the child space. Music therapy also can calm an angry child. He might respond to light background music or singing.

Secondary Emotion

• It is important to remember that anger is a secondary emotion. That means there is a primary emotion causing the child to react in anger, such as sadness or fear. It is important for a therapist to figure out what the child is actually feeling and address those issues in addition to managing the anger. For example, a child may physically assault another child at school after being bullied. While his reaction was out of anger, under the surface he may be feeling hurt and embarrassed about being picked on in front of other classmates.

Education

• Children need to learn about emotional intelligence, which can be difficult for those who are used to stuffing down their feelings. Some families have unspoken rules about not expressing how they feel; these children never learn the value of identifying and expressing their emotions. Feeling charts can be used to help children identify and process emotions. Teach children to clearly communicate how they feel by using a simple formula in which they label their emotion and explain why they feel that way.

Anger Management

• Teach children about self-regulation so they learn how to tolerate negative emotions. Frustrations happen in life, so it is important that children are prepared and understand that they must control their impulses. Teach children about cognitive distortions. Thinking in black and white or catastrophic terms can escalate anger. Help children to see situations accurately. Children also must learn to separate themselves from other people. Accepting that they are not able to control the way other people behave will help children to take anger-provoking situations less personally.