Why does a narcissist withhold info about themselves but want to know details your life even after breaking up six years ago?

1. Controlling the narrative:

Narcissists often want to maintain control over their image and how others perceive them. By withholding information about themselves, they can prevent others from forming a complete picture of who they are, making it easier to maintain a façade of perfection or superiority. On the other hand, seeking personal details from others allows the narcissist to build a database of information that can be used to manipulate, control, or harm the other person in the future.

2. Building a sense of superiority:

Narcissists often have an inflated sense of self-importance and a need to feel superior to others. Seeking information about your life can help them compare themselves to you and identify ways in which they may feel more accomplished, smarter, or more successful. By doing so, they reinforce their narcissistic beliefs and feelings of grandeur.

3. Power dynamics:

Narcissists often seek power and control in relationships. By withholding information about themselves while extracting details about your life, they create an information imbalance that gives them the upper hand. This power dynamic allows them to feel in control of the situation and maintain a sense of superiority over you.

4. Lack of empathy:

Narcissists generally lack empathy and have difficulty putting themselves in other people's shoes. This makes them less likely to consider how their actions may affect you or to respect your privacy boundaries. They may simply see your life details as something to be acquired and used for their own benefit, without considering the emotional impact it may have on you.

5. Future manipulation:

Narcissists often maintain connections with former partners to keep potential sources of admiration, attention, and supply. By staying informed about your life, they can gather information that could potentially be used to manipulate or control you in the future. This could include using sensitive details against you, playing on your emotions, or using the information to exert emotional influence or power.