How to Apply Conflict Resolution Skills to Your Life

Conflicts between two people can lead to verbal bashing or even the exchange of a few punches. Conflicts cause hurt feelings, anger and resentment, if not properly dealt with and resolved effectively. Resolving conflicts peacefully enables you to form and keep healthy relationships with friends, loved ones and co-workers. To forgive and forget, you must incorporate effective conflict resolution skills in your life. These skills will ease your mind and keep you out of trouble.

Instructions

• 1

  Evaluate the stress in your life and your emotions. Control negative feelings by staying calm and relaxed. Breathe deeply, write in your journal, exercise or do something else that will keep you calm before addressing any conflict. Anger, aggression and a depressed state will not resolve your conflicts.

• 2

  Choose to disagree with someone only when it really matters. Ask yourself if the conflict is worth the fight before you say anything. If it isn't, walk away from the issue at hand.

• 3

  Listen to what others are saying. Don't cut the other person off mid-conversation so that you can talk. Listen intensely until the other person is finished speaking before you talk. When it is your turn, restate what the other person said before talking about how you feel.

• 4

  Notice how other people communicate non-verbally with their body language and gestures. If the person you are fighting with seems angry at you, talk in a calm voice and act concerned by nodding your head while listening. Your non-verbal communication and tone of voice will ease the tension.

• 5

  Separate the conflict from the person. Address only the issue at hand and leave insults out of the conversation.

• 6

  Play around with the person you have a conflict with to ease tension. Say something funny, but ensure the joke will not be taken the wrong way.

• 7

  Start each sentence with "I" when it is your turn to talk. For example, say "I feel" or "I'm upset because" instead of directing the conversation toward the other person with phrases such as "you made me feel" or "you made me angry." By taking responsibility of your own feelings with "I" phrases, you are not insulting the other person.

• 8

  Seek options to find a resolution in which you both agree. Find a compromise that leaves you both happy.

• 9

  Forgive the other person, regardless of the outcome. If you were not able to come to an agreement, walk away from the issue without fighting more. If the conflict was resolved, forget about the problem without tallying how many wins you have.