How to Channel Your Feelings in a Positive Direction

Emotions that the American culture believe to be negative, such as anger, frustration and stress are actually important and helpful red flags. They are a way for our mind to tell us something is not right and needs to change. How we cope with those emotions is often what makes them negative. Lashing out and attacking others, either verbally or physically, and breaking down are negative outcomes of important emotions. The best way to cope and deal with these red flag emotions is to channel them into positive change.

Instructions

• 1

  Stop when you feel a strong negative emotion coming on. Hold your breath for five seconds, then let it out. Take five deep breaths. Remove yourself temporarily from the situation, if necessary. If you are still angry, frustrated, stressed, etc. you must analyze what this emotion is conveying, what the problem really is. Is the problem based on the present moment? Or perhaps it is pent up anger from an earlier frustration, or simply an overreaction.

• 2

  Decide how to direct that negative emotion into a positive form of action. If you believe your anger is just, such as a server at a restaurant being deliberately rude to you, you may want to ask for the manager and complain. Lashing out at the server will only make him or her defensive and further propel their bad mood onto their next customer. If you are unhappy with a new law passed in your state, write a letter to the congressman or start a petition to have the law repealed.

• 3

  Ask yourself why you are holding onto this negative emotion. Were you insulted or cheated? Do you feel powerless or intimated? Analyzing the source of your negative emotions can give values insights to your beliefs, values and needs and find positive channels for your emotions.

• 4

  Complete the following sentence: "I am angry/insulted/frustrated/stressed because I lost...this loss is important to me because..." If you find the loss, such as a slight blow to your ego, is not important to your core beliefs or values you can release the anger and know in the future that this offense is not important. If you find the loss to be very important, return to Step 2 and look for a constructive outlet for your anger.