How to Overcome Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk has the ability to cripple you with a decreased lifespan, higher rates of depression and even less resistance to the common cold. Negative self-talk is not the reflection of our true inner voice; it is often an echo of external voices in our lives, such as those of our parents, teachers or bosses. Most negative self-talk is feeling-based and not based on reality, which is good news because once feelings are modified, negative self-talk can be eliminated.

Instructions

• 1

  Keep a record for one day of all negative self-talk you say to yourself, such as "I'll never lose weight," or "I'm not smart enough to get that job." Negative self-talk implies a reluctance to consider options to change. Once you have identified the various negative self-talk you use, give yourself permission to laugh or smile when you use it, which will weaken its impact.

• 2

  Ask yourself, "How can I accomplish this?" if you find yourself saying, "I can't do this." Stop assuming the worst will happen and instead focus on positive experiences entering your life.

• 3

  Re-evaluate your interpretation of painful events. Recognize that your feelings probably do not equal the facts. You may tell yourself that you feel embarassed about leaving a job, but it's more likely that the job was not a good fit and you moved on.

• 4

  Replace harsh self-talk such as "I'm so angry with myself" with gentler words such as "I'm frustrated with myself, but I'm sure I will do better next time." Negative self-talk that begins with "You really should not" is often the voice of our parents, bosses or other authority figures, and acting on these thoughts does not reflect our true desires.

• 5

  Stop placing perfectionist demands on yourself. If you make an error, do not tell yourself, "I always make mistakes." Recognize that everyone makes errors from time to time, while also making note of all of your positive qualities.

• 6

  Make a list of affirmations that you like or appreciate about yourself, and read them each morning after you wake up.

• 7

  Take steps to improve or change things in your life that are really bothering you, such as your job, your relationship or your fitness level. Surround yourself with positive people who will quash any attempts on your part to put a negative spin on your life.