How to Deal With an Out of Work Spouse

Unemployment impacts not only the individual, but also the spouse. While dealing with challenges such as added stress, changes in relationship dynamics and the emotional reaction of the unemployed individual, the spouse must also be supportive and understanding. Coping with a spouse's unemployment involves open and nonjudgmental communication of feelings, concerns, expectations and plans, as well as adequate self care and external support.

Instructions

• 1

  Provide an opportunity for the spouse to express feelings and concerns related to the unemployment. Possible statements to initiate this are, "How do you feel about being out of work" or "If you'd like to talk, just let me know."

• 2

  Acknowledge and validate the unemployed spouse's concerns. Use reassuring statements such as, "I can see why you feel that way" or "It's perfectly normal. Most people would be experiencing the same thing."

• 3

  Make time every week to discuss the unemployment situation.

  Reinforce a teamwork approach to the spouse's unemployment situation. Spouses who support each other through challenging times will experience less stress and build strength in the relationship.

• 4

  Use "I" statements to share concerns and expectations with the unemployed spouse. According to the Communication and Conflict website, "I" statements contribute to effective communication and effective conflict resolution. For example, "I feel," "I noticed" or "I would appreciate more help with..."

• 5

  Both spouses should take part in financial planning.

  Discuss financial plans. Review the current monthly expenditures, liquid assets and sources of income. Consider reducing unnecessary expenditures during the spouse's unemployment. Research potential government unemployment benefits available by state using the Government Benefits Online website.

• 6

  Think before speaking, avoid nagging and avoid giving the unemployed spouse unsolicited advice. According to Crucial Skills contributor and author Al Switzler, it is important to ask yourself, "Will the step I'm about to take help me move toward a solution and toward saving this valued relationship?"

• 7

  Discuss the spouse's re-employment options, such as job retraining, apprenticeship, additional education or a career change.

• 8

  Yoga teaches breathing exercises that help with relaxation.

  Provide opportunities for self care. Christine Meinecke, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist, describes self care as positive actions that help balance and cope with stress. Examples of self care include exercise, a hot bath, getting adequate sleep, meditation, yoga, and spending time alone or with friends.