How to Behave When a Man Has Hurt Your Feelings

A romantic relationship between a man and a woman may appear unbalanced when an argument occurs and comments are made in an attempt to hurt one another. Men are often taught to be straightforward and blunt, while women are taught to be mindful of the feelings of others, usually above their own. Women usually appear oversensitive as their reactions to their partner's hurtful comments reveal how much they have been affected. The key to constructive behavior when a man hurts your feelings is to take a step back and not react in the immediate way that comes naturally.

Things You'll Need

• Journal

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Instructions

• 1

  Remove yourself from the situation. Focus on your breathing and do not react immediately to what he has done that has hurt you. Anger management focuses on breathing, and this is no exception. Good Housekeeping suggests beginning with this step because it avoids the tempting comeback which can be equally hurtful to him, but does not resolve the problem between you. Leave the situation to take a walk and return only when you are calm, even if it takes some time. If he said or did something hurtful, some time away may be good for you.

• 2

  Evaluate the reasoning behind the comment and whether the severity of it matches your hurt feelings. Think about whether he has been under an immense amount of stress and has said or done something hurtful unintentionally in response to his own issues. Think about whether your reaction is proportionate to what he has done or if you have been under immense stress and are reacting only partially to him, but mainly to the other factors.

• 3

  Focus on the positive things, such as the love between the two of you and other achievements in your life to prevent brooding over the comment or action he did to make you so upset to begin with. Be able to admit when you are being overly sensitive as well as that the comments may have been in jest, rather than purposely mean or cruel.

• 4

  Sit down and speak with him about the situation that just occurred. Speak in non-accusatory language and be calm. Ask him to elaborate on what he meant by the comment or action. If he said something hurtful during an argument, he more than likely did not mean it, therefore he said it without fully thinking it through. Asking him to repeat the comment will make him feel sheepish and he will probably apologize.

• 5

  Inform him that your feelings were hurt and why. Discuss with him better ways to deal with the stress in your lives to avoid fighting in the future, such as taking walks and talking or seeing a movie you both like as the quality time will prevent lashing out at one another.