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Communication Between Divorced Parents

Although divorce changes a relationship, ex-spouses with children must continue to interact. Communication changes after divorce, however. Parents must learn to mediate complicated dynamics so that the family can continue to function in this changed form. Even after separation, two people are bonded by their children and must continue to carry out parental duties.

  1. Cooperation

    • Divorced parents must put personal issues aside so that they can communicate about necessary topics. Approach a conversation with an ex-spouse as if it were a business meeting. Stay on topic, and be polite and professional. If a conversation veers toward an argument, postpone the discussion until children are absent.

    Important Topics

    • Finances are one of the primary topics about which divorced parents must communicate, especially financial decisions they make for their children. If they set up college accounts, they must determine how to share costs. They have to negotiate child support as well as the purchasing of necessities as children progress through different life stages. Other topics about which divorced parents must communicate are how they will finesse important events in their children's lives, such as weddings and graduations. Parents must come up with a functional method of interacting so that they can support their children at all times.

    Perserverance

    • Sometimes, one parent refuses to communicate with the other even over essential issues. If your ex-spouse will not communicate with you, do not allow the situation to escalate into a fight, and do not use children as messengers. Appeal to your spouse on the behalf of your children. Even if he is still angry with you, eventually he is likely to enter into a dialogue for the love of his children.

    Third Party

    • Sometimes, parents continue to communicate poorly for years after a divorce. If cooperation seems impossible and conflict is having a negative impact on children, parents can seek assistance from a third party. Often this person is a psychologist who can approach the situation objectively and inquisitively. Hire a third party to be present each time you meet to discuss an important issue, or pass communication through the third party in writing. You can decide to involve another person yourselves, or if a judge feels that your children are suffering, she can appoint a professional to assist with communication.

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