How to Control Your Stubbornness

Knowing what you want, why you believe you want it and knowing that you will be adamant in getting what you want are all a part of being stubborn. Stubbornness is the behavior that exists when someone feels entitled to have something, whether or not conditions are optimal or not. Controlling stubbornness is essential if you want to become a person who gets along well with others, and understands that not everything can be exactly how you envision it to be. Not everything is due to you, regardless of whether you want something material or not.

Instructions

• 1

  Know what the issue is that is causing you to be stubborn. Write down in a notebook what you want and what other people's reactions were that led you to act act stubborn. For example, if you are a teenager and want to use the family car, but your parents said no because the car is required by another person, write that down. Review the situation to see how the other side feels and what the reasons were for you to not get your way.

• 2

  Think before responding to criticism or being told you cannot do something. If you tend to exhibit stubbornness when you ask for something and do not get it, consider possible outcomes before even asking. If you have a good idea you will not get what you ask for before even asking, you will be better able to control your stubbornness when the situation arises. For example, if you are told that you can not use the telephone until after your homework is complete, and you delay getting your homework done, you should know you will not get to use the phone. Acting stubborn and trying to reason and rationalize your way out of your homework obligation, provided that behavior never worked before, will not work again. Recognize which situations will not change regardless of how stubborn you act.

• 3

  Learn to accept the rules imposed on you by others, whether by parents, educators or employers. Know that you will have to follow policy, procedure and requests throughout your life. If you choose to be stubborn to get your own way, you should realize that you will waste time and energy in trying to change situations that cannot be changed. For example, if you refuse to work overtime at work, even though it is mandatory, no amount of stubbornness will preclude you from having to work overtime hours when everyone else is required to and it is a stated policy. In fact, stubbornness can cause you to lose friends and jobs when you refuse to bend in your opinion and thoughts.