How to Handle Insults in the Locker Room

Almost everyone can relate to an encounter with a bully, and the locker room can be a platform for a bully who may be physically stronger or a better athlete than his victim. Victims are exposed and vulnerable to the insults thrown at them. The locker room, however, doesn't have to be a place of dread for a potential victim.

Instructions

• 1

  Determine the leader of an insult barrage. It's not always clear who is delegating the duties of insulter. The one hurling insults may be a lackey looking to avoid insults by serving as the insulter. Watch who she looks to for validation in the locker room. Often there is a subtle glance or a nod of approval. It may only be a one person show. In either case, find out all the information available as discreetly as possible. You may need it later.

• 2

  Fight the urge to return insults. Getting into a shouting match rarely works out for the object of the initial insults. The insulter has prepped his audience to ensure allegiance. Leave the locker room all together or ask simple questions, such as, "Have I done something to you?" or "May I ask why you are being so mean?" The killing with kindness approach may not work, but you will gain more insight into the person you are dealing with regarding his answers or lack of answers.

• 3

  Communicate with a trusted adult. A trusted adult is someone has a proven track record of reliability, honesty and integrity. Let this person know immediately if the situation feels dangerous. If the situation feels like a nuisance, it is still necessary to keep an adult in the loop. The adult can communicate with teachers and coaches who have access to the locker room. Hopefully, the situation is resolved with the minimal amount of embarrassment, but embarrassment is a small cost if the situation could potentially become violent. If the perpetrator is an adult, then call the police if this situation is serious enough. This creates a record of the incident if the problem persists.

• 4

  Seek out a kindred spirit. The locker room is full of those who can relate to the insults. There may be someone whose laugh is forced or doesn't laugh at all. This may be the person who can help you weather the storm. Strike up a conversation to determine how he feels about the insults. The locker room may be full of kindred spirits. Ultimately, the insults may end once the insulter discovers she no longer has an audience.