How to Be Calm & Assertive

If you are typically a very anxious and nervous person, two qualities that may benefit you to have are calmness and assertiveness. If you possess a calm demeanor, your poise will help you handle almost any tough situation, and if you are assertive, you have the ability to speak up and clearly communicate to other people exactly what it is that you need. Cultivate some valuable characteristics in order to improve your pathway in life.

Instructions

• 1

  Accept the fact that setbacks exist. Acknowledge setbacks and that they are inevitable. No one floats through life without encountering problems and difficulties. Realize that the most important part of setbacks is how you handle and get through them, not that they occurred in the first place.

• 2

  Analyze your words before you open your mouth. One cardinal error many people make is talking before thinking. Define in your head exactly what you wish to express in order to avoid miscommunication and misunderstandings with other people. Determine exactly what it is that you wish to say so that you do not allow other peoples' interpretations to sway you.

• 3

  Request clarification. If someone expects you to do something that you perceive to be outrageous, impossible or impractical, instead of getting upset and losing your cool, ask for clarification so that you are interpreting things correctly. Cut out time-wasting and get to the point of things.

• 4

  Concentrate on your strong points. It is common for people to spend their entire lives fixating on weaknesses and potential problems. Obsessive focus on negativity is no way to maintain a calm and composed mind. Take your mind off of difficulties and instead open yourself up to solving issues effectively.

• 5

  Breathe. Amidst chaos and frustration, take a minute out to concentrate on your breathing. Go to a quiet and isolated place. Inhale and exhale deeply, and focus on every single breath.

• 6

  Talk firmly. To come across as assertive and certain of what you want, pay attention to how you speak. Use a firm and even tone when you talk. Speaking in this way will prevent people from doubting your intentions and what you have to say. It will also indicate to people that you mean business.

• 7

  Use strong body language. If you want to avoid coming across like you are weak and passive, concentrate on your body language. Stand up straight, look people straight in the eye when you talk and avoid fidgeting and other motions that point to restlessness or discomfort.

• 8

  Speak your mind. Identify that you have a valid opinion and that you can contribute something to a discussion. If you have a differing opinion from someone else, indicate politely and clearly how your pattern of thinking is different. Avoid raising your voice or speaking in an incendiary or aggressive manner. If someone enlightens you on a certain issue, do not fear admitting that you made a mistake or were wrong.