How to Treat Emotional Setbacks

Everyone experiences emotional setbacks at times. Perhaps you were overlooked for a promotion or failed a course or your team lost an important game. A friend or family member may have let you down and you feel disappointed or perhaps you are experiencing the loss of a relationship. Whatever the cause of an emotional setback, there are things you can do to encourage yourself and get back on track. Sometimes it is as simple as choosing to focus on the positive.

Instructions

Think Postively

• 1

  Look on the bright side and search for silver linings in the situation. If you didn't get the promotion you wanted, perhaps there will be a better opportunity in the near future. Tell yourself things like "It will get better" and "I will make it through this." Think back to when you suffered a setback in the past and ask yourself what helped you cope at that time; then repeat those coping strategies.

• 2

  Seek emotional support from friends and family members. Sometimes people don't want to burden others with their problems but don't hesitate to call on others for an objective perspective or when you need to talk. Make a point of going out with friends and doing something you enjoy like seeing a movie, shopping or trying a new restaurant.

• 3

  Ask yourself what life lessons you have learned from the experience that caused the setback. If you left an unhealthy relationship, for example, figure out what you need for a healthy relationship. If you think you may have low self-esteem, find ways to increase your self-esteem such as citing positive affirmations like "I deserve to be in loving relationship and be respected at all times." Focus on your achievements and your strengths, avoid comparing yourself to others and surround yourself with people who accept and support you. Make a list of your positive qualities and accomplishments.

• 4

  Examine your expectations to determine if they are realistic. Perhaps you have set goals that are unachievable in general or unattainable within a certain time frame, or maybe you hoped to marry someone who you didn't really know that well. Assess whether your setback is related to one person or situation, or if it is part of an ongoing pattern in your life. Try to determine what the underlying causes of your setbacks are. Ask the people you are closest to and who know you well to tell you if they think your expectations are unrealistic. If so, try to determine more realistic expectations.

• 5

  Be your own best friend and your own cheerleader. Avoid entertaining negative thoughts about yourself or putting yourself down. Instead, tell yourself things like "I made a mistake but I will learn from it and do better next time" and "I will be patient with myself" and "It's okay - I am a work in progress." Pamper yourself by going to a spa or engaging in a hobby you enjoy.