How to Motivate Someone When They Have Lost a Loved One

Consoling someone who has lost a loved one is a difficult and complex process. People have different ways of coping with grief, and some of those coping mechanisms may be healthier than others. Given the delicate state that many people are in after a loss, this isn't the time to try to change the way someone grieves merely to fit the standards of mental health. By using what you know about the person and offering your support, you can help the person through this difficult time.

Things You'll Need

• Internet access (suggested, but not required)

Show More

Instructions

Consoling the Grieving Person

• 1

  Making initial contact with the person is important. Many people are in shock after the death of a loved one and don't want to inform everyone they know of the death personally, or they may not remember to do so. By expressing to the person that you're sorry to hear about the loss, and more importantly, by offering your support and care, you will be on the right path to helping the person through the varying and complex stages of grief.

• 2

  Be available. Make time for the person. Sometimes simply being with a grieving person is what's needed. Be comfortable with silence, and allow the person to lead the conversation as they feel comfortable. If talking about something unrelated is what the person would like to do, simply be a friend and participate in whatever discussion the person would like. Remember, everyone goes through stages of grief in different ways and over different time spans.

• 3

  The steps of grief can sometimes be as shocking and confusing to the individual as they are to surrounding friends and family. Be prepared to help out around the person's home if the grief increases, or if the person is struggling to take care of everyday things. If the person has children or pets, offer to keep an eye on them, and volunteer to take care of them so the individual can focus on personal mental health issues for a little while. Keep an eye out for any potentially harmful or concerning behavior that may indicate a more intense form of depression; urge the individual to seek professional help with any signs of substance abuse, trouble eating, or any other forms of a life-altering inability to cope.

• 4

  The process of grieving can't be rushed, but if an individual is having trouble moving forward after several months, or even years, professional help is advisable. Sharing your own or others' experiences with loss and coping may provide the individual with role models, as well as remind the person that the future won't always be like the present. Encourage the individual to do something to keep alive the memory of the deceased loved one, perhaps through keeping a memory box or photo album,. This will permit the individual to move on without feeling as though the loved one will be forgotten. Encourage the person to turn toward these memories as a source of strength, and to live positively in a way that would make the deceased loved one proud.