How Can I Stop Things From Bothering Me?

No matter how hard you try, sometimes things just bother you. People have anywhere from 25,000 to 50,000 thoughts a day. With that kind of volume, some of those thoughts are bound to be negative. While you cannot prevent negative thoughts from entering your mind, you can learn to recognize when bad thought patterns are emerging and how to stop them in their tracks. Things will not stop bothering you completely, of course, but you can change the way that you think about them for the better.

Things You'll Need

• Distraction item

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Instructions

Recognizing How You React to Situations

• 1

  Recognize how you react to a situation then stop to think about it. Does your body tense up? Do you start to fidget? Do you feel your blood pressure increase and your heart rate increase? If you start to feel these things, then you know that something is bothering you. Recognize what this feels like and focus on calming down.

• 2

  Breathe slowly and count until you feel yourself calming down. Think about something pleasant or something neutral. Repeat a word in your head slowly.

• 3

  Ask yourself whether the action that bothered you really was that important. Sometimes our brain will play a trick on us, for example, and make us personalize an action that was not meant for us. Personalization is a cognitive distortion where you see yourself as the cause of something that really had nothing to do with you. Stop and ask yourself whether or not that was the case.

• 4

  Remove yourself physically and mentally from a bad situation. If you see that a situation has nothing to do with you, move away physically. Go outside for a few minutes, take a bathroom break or go sit in your car.

Using an Object to Stop Negative Thinking

• 5

  Grab a neutral object that will physically remind you to stop thinking negatively. A neutral object is something like a small rock, paperweight, ball or other tangible object that, when you grab it, will train your mind to stop in its tracks and move on to another thought. Do not grab your smartphone or go to your computer or television. The stimulation from these things will likely make your mood worse.

• 6

  Hold the object or place it in front of you when something starts to bother you. If you are in an office, place the object on your desk.

• 7

  Think about the object, say its name and fight any other thoughts coming into your head. Continue to focus on the object until you feel you are in control again. Breathe slowly until you feel relaxed.