How to Control Bitterness

Feelings of bitterness and resentment can be overwhelming and can take over your life in a destructive way. Whether you are bitter because your husband was cheating or you're angry with a former best friend for talking behind your back, these strong emotions can eat away at you and prevent you from plowing forward and pursuing the life that you want. If bitterness is taking over your life, take the appropriate steps to manage and control it.

Instructions

• 1

  Look at the other person's point of view. Consider the person who makes you feel bitter. Try to gain some clarity of the situation by putting yourself in his shoes. Envision how you would act if you were in the same circumstances. Be honest, because you might have done something similar in the past. No one is infallible and everyone makes mistakes. Do not hold someone accountable for something that could happen to anyone.

• 2

  Concentrate on the positive aspects of the other person. Although it might be very difficult, make an honest attempt to focus on the good traits of the person for whom you feel resentment and bitterness. Try to purge the negative feelings you have for the individual by instead focusing on her positive qualities. Additionally, send vibes of positivity her way. If you allow yourself this luxury, you may free yourself of all of the constraints of holding a grudge.

• 3

  Consider the price of bitterness. Look at the big picture in life and think about your priorities. Ask yourself if you want a life of peace and happiness. Determine whether it is truly worth it to feel such strong resentment, anger and bitterness toward someone. Figure out if you can afford to feel this way much longer, whether it is for two months or a lifetime. If you determine that you cannot live a life of these bad feelings, move on.

• 4

  Think about intentions. When you analyze the person who makes you feel resentment, take a long, hard look at what you know about this person. If you have a friend who constantly breaks plans, ask yourself if you think she does this to make you angry or if it is just a bad habit of hers. If you live your life thinking that she is trying to upset you, it can be very stressful and make you feel more bitterness. On the other hand, if you conclude that the breaking of plans is a normal character flaw of the other person, it may ease the burden and heaviness that you feel.

• 5

  Think about your health. Remember that bitterness can be very stressful, and that emotional stress can have a negative impact on your overall well-being and health. If you understand the correlation between bitterness and health, you will probably be less likely to want to wallow in it. Resentment can greatly affect your self-image, and make you feel stupid and worthless. Whenever you feel those tough resentful feelings, think about the toll that they could have on your health, which may provide you with an incentive to curb the destructive behavior.