How to Forgive the Dead

It is not the easiest thing to do: let go of the past and forgive. Sometimes, a parent in particular may make a child unhappy and blight his life. Then, it can almost seem unfair when the offending person dies and leaves the other without even the object of his anger. This means that he has no place to go with these strong feelings. But carrying your anger around with you is like carrying a heavy boulder. It damages you, not the other person; this is obviously even more so if the other person is dead. There are steps you can take to move forward to a freer and happier future.

Instructions

• 1

  Write a letter to the dead person describing what happened. Tell the person how this made you feel and how it has affected your life. Tell the person how angry it made you. Write that you are going to forgive him at some point because you do not want to carry around these feelings of hurt and anger. Read the letter and allow yourself to cry or feel upset. Burn the letter.

• 2

  Talk to someone you trust. If, for instance you have siblings who also suffered at the hands of the dead person, you might be able to talk to them. However, you might find this too painful. If you were a victim of the dead person's crime, consider joining a victim support group. It is important to open up about what happened, so healing can begin.

• 3

  Go to church if you have a religious faith, or even if you are unsure about this. Learn about the church's teachings on the grace and peace that can come when you let go of anger. Speak privately to the minister and pastor and ask for help for this difficult journey.

• 4

  Talk to your physician, a counselor or therapist if you feel stuck in a particular stage. You may be preoccupied with the past, and the anger you feel might be damaging your physical health. Believe that, with help, you will be able to get out of this dark place.