Tools for Overcoming Hardships

The Merriam-Webster online dictionary defines hardship as "something that causes or entails suffering or privation" and suggests the term "adversity" as a synonym. Both words imply an ongoing difficult or unfavorable condition. Whether the hardship is economic, psychological or physical or has some other source, the key to successfully overcoming it lies in obtaining and using a variety of appropriate tools to address it.

The Three A's

• Al-Anon is a 12-Step program for people whose lives have been damaged by someone else's drinking. Their literature suggests that effective resolution of difficult situations requires an honest assessment of the problem, followed by acceptance of the problem's reality and ongoing nature. Discovering and pursuing effective action to resolve the hardship successfully usually follows these two "A's." To illustrate: doctors treat disease by first examining the patient's symptoms and diagnosing a specific condition before prescribing a particular medicine or procedure.

Planning and Goal-Setting

• Hardships involve long-term difficult circumstances. Finding ways to address them requires planning to carry out long-term solutions. Useful tools for reversing financial losses, for example, include analyzing current assets and liabilities, inventorying skills and opportunities and setting up budgets and timelines for short-, medium- and long-term goals. Interim achievements provide opportunities to celebrate progress and feel encouraged, both powerful tools for creating or re-creating a belief that the adversity is not permanent and can be conquered.

Support

• Author Ernest Hemingway noted that, "The world breaks everyone...." One of the damaging aspects of facing hardship is the sense of isolation it often brings. Therapists suggest that hard times are easier to bear when we make use of support groups --- whether they are strangers united by the specific adversity, such as Alzheimer's caregivers, or potential employers met through networking opportunities. Compare dealing with hardship to dealing with a broken leg to understand the value of support. Using crutches for a short time helps shorten the healing period and aids current mobility. Twelve-Step members receive helpful ideas and hope by attending meetings with other people who face their same problems, but offer solutions they found by thinking differently. Getting another perspective on a hardship situation can show us a new path through our difficulties.

Self-Care

• Focusing on successes in other areas of life, eating right, exercising regularly and rewarding small victories aid in maintaining energy and mental strength in the face of adversity. Another valuable tool for overcoming hardship involves distancing yourself from toxic people and situations. Consider not socializing temporarily with people who know you are in serious financial trouble, yet invite you on expensive outings. Psychiatrist Cynthia Hoyler, M.D., suggests writing gratitude lists and working at least one enjoyable activity or event into your day to lift your spirits.

Professional Help

• Seek professional help when struggling with hardships that require knowledge or expertise beyond your ability. Counselors offer trained assistance whether you must work through emotional pain, debt consolidation or the need to find a new line of work. Check out resources available through your church, local government, public library or non-profit organization. As Hemingway also noted, "...and afterward many are stronger at the broken places." Like shipbuilding, overcoming hardship takes hard work over time --- and the right tools.