Tips About Low Self-Esteem

Having a positive self-esteem is important to live a healthy and successful life. Low self-esteem means having a negative self-concept, which is typically manifested through self-deprecating or self-destructive behavior. Self-esteem is not inherited, so it is up to you to improve or change how you view yourself. Though boosting your confidence may not be easy, you can face your fears and start feeling better about yourself with these tips.

Identify Triggers

• Begin to notice and observe what makes you feel bad about yourself. Is it criticism from others? Do you shy away from specific situations? Use each situation to learn about your behavior and possibly analyze how and why you react in a certain way. If you constantly find yourself engaging in a self-defeating action following a certain event, remove yourself from those situations, if you can help it. Once you are aware of these triggers, you will be able to develop ways to help deal with them. Using a stress management technique, such as listening to music or counting backwards from 10, may help assuage a tense situation.

Don't Overreact

• People with low self-esteem often rush to victimize themselves and assume that all criticism is a personal attack against them. Avoid making impulsive responses or overreactions, using relaxation techniques. Even something as trivial as taking a couple deep breaths before you react can mitigate the stress or anxiety you are feeling. Employing these techniques actually disrupts your natural tendency to overact and can help you set a new pattern to eliminate your self-destructive behavior.

Speak Positively

• Though you may not be able to limit yourself to only positive thoughts, you can control what you say. Choose to verbalize responses that are caring or kind to yourself. Make an effort to hold your tongue on self-deprecating or self-defeating statements. Recognize that there is a difference between saying and thinking something and put forth a genuine effort to take control of what you say -- it is empowering and an important way to face your fears.

Develop Life Skills

• Adopt certain life skills, which help to maintain a healthy self-esteem, create hope and tolerate difficult or stressful situations.

  Accept and respect all of your feelings. Instead of dwelling on the negative, however, use these feelings to identify your needs.

  Eliminate extreme or absolute thinking. Realize and embrace the shades of gray in every situation --- it will help you to avoid jumping to an overreacted conclusion.

  Detach yourself from negative people and build a personal boundary at all times. You must protect your mind as well as your body.

  Speak what you feel with conviction and say "I" statements. Expressing honest and direct thoughts helps to empower you and asserts that you are in charge of your own life.

  End the self-pity parties. Engage with others and learn to have meaningful conversations with them. Listen, restate and acknowledge their opinions. This helps you to avoid self-absorbed behavior and empathize with others.