How to Live Instead of Exist

To live is to do what makes you happy without trying to impress others. To exist is to be what is expected of you, to fit into the work-mortgage-family mode and not stand out. Finding the balance between the two can make you a happy and well-rounded person. To live instead of exist does not mean to turn totally against your life as you know it now. It encourages you to find what makes you happy and to do something you always wanted to do but never had the time or money for, and to change small things to make a big change in your life.

Instructions

Get Outside

• 1

  Go outside and do activities you did when you were a child. Play in the rain, walk barefoot in the grass or take time to lay out in the sun.

• 2

  Turn off the television and get away from your home or work computer. Take your laptop or iPad and do your work at a coffee shop, at the beach or in the park.

• 3

  Start an exercise program where you get outside. Walk, run or ride a bike to get your cardiovascular exercise program outside. Start an exercise group with neighbors to incorporate getting to know new people and expanding your personal universe.

• 4

  Watch the sunrise and/or the sunset every day. Take the time to enjoy the beauty of nature while having a light snack or sitting with your lover or best friend.

Change Routine

• 5

  Create a new morning routine. Get up a little earlier to make time to do something special before going to work. Stop to get breakfast, have playtime with your kids first thing in the morning or slow your morning down by making some coffee and enjoying it in silence to gather your thoughts for the day.

• 6

  Break away from the way you do things every day. Take a different route to work that includes driving by a lake, park or beach. Use your lunch time to do some volunteer work, such as passing out meals to shut-in neighbors. Dress in different colors or styles of clothing that are less confining and more comfortable. Do something different after work instead of going home, eating and going to bed, such as taking dance lessons or joining a bowling league.

• 7

  Try one new thing every week. Go to the opera, see a movie or meet friends for dinner. Do not just say, "We should get together soon," get out your calendar and set a date. Mix it up and you may find something new to do that really makes you happy.

Personal Changes

• 8

  Face your fears and overcome them. Fear is what holds you back from accomplishing something. Being afraid can keep you from even thinking you can change your existence to live the life you want. Recognize what your greatest fear is and overcome it by thinking how you can face it, and steps that you can take it to rise above it. According to Think Simple Now: "The key strategy for overcoming your fear involves constructing a plan gradually to expose yourself to what you fear, in small steps, so that you tackle what you fear without becoming too frightened."

• 9

  Take chances that you want to take but are worried about the outcome. Think it through, then take a one-year leave of absence from work to travel, stay home with your family or start a small business of your own. Without a leap of faith, you will never know what you are capable of.

• 10

  Write down items, people, everything you want to do and things that matter to you. Be as specific as you can. This is your list of the most important things in your life. Begin to focus on these items, make time for them and be happy that you have rediscovered what is most important to you.

• 11

  Practice slowing down whenever you can. Take more time at the dinner table with your family. Read a book instead of watching TV or working on the computer. Walk to work instead of drive so you can take time to enjoy the outdoors.

New Activities

• 12

  Start to travel. Go places you have always wanted to see so you can do activities that area provides: mountain climbing, rapid river floating, parasailing or gliding near the Grand Canyon, or finding the history of the Mexican ruins or the Roman empire in Rome. When you travel you have so much more to talk about, and you may meet some individuals who like the same things to do that you do.

• 13

  Volunteer. There are many opportunities in every neighborhood. Join in finding volunteer opportunities at serve.gov. This is a nationwide clearinghouse to match volunteers with volunteer opportunities. Volunteering not only helps those in need, but it also helps you learn compassion and understanding for those less fortunate or are going through a crisis (see Resources).

• 14

  Go out of your way to play with children. They play and live in the moment and have fun. They cry when they are hurt and laugh when they are having fun. They are joyful, and you can learn from them how to live a simpler life. According to HelpGuide, "Play teaches us how to manage and transform our 'negative' emotions and experiences. ... It helps us learn, relieves stress and connects you to others."

• 15

  Learn from older people. They have wisdom from living their lives. They are experienced and know what has been a good decision and what decisions were not beneficial for living their lives to the fullest. Find out their regrets and listen to their amazing stories so you can avoid some of the same mistakes.

• 16

  Take time to laugh --- hard. According to Women's Health magazine, laughter can make you more creative and help you think of more things to do and be able to see the big picture instead of the small components. This may open your thoughts to what you are passionate about and ways to achieve those goals (see Resources).