How to Help People With Anger

Dealing with a person who has anger issues is no easy task. Either you feel helpless as you watch her wrestle with her personal demons or you are the recipient of that anger. While it may seem impossible, there are techniques you can employ to get the person in question to calm down and be more reasonable, at least for the moment. The techniques may not work on every individual because anger management stems from different places mentally, and all are not easily controlled by talking alone.

Instructions

• 1

  Find out if there are any underlying physical or mental issues. Anger is sometimes caused by untreated mental disorders, such as depression, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. It also can be caused by personality disorders or diseases, such as Huntington's disease. The person in question may need to take a mood-altering medication to control the cause of the anger so he can address the way that he deals with the emotion.

• 2

  Talk to the person calmly and softly in the middle of an episode. Don't be argumentative or yell back, even if the angry person is in the wrong. That will only incite the situation further. Stay calm and talk calmly to the person, no matter how upset you are about how you are being treated.

• 3

  Attempt to fulfill the immediate need. The angry person is spinning further out of control because she cannot control the situation at hand. Something so simple as a spilled cup of milk may cause a person with anger issues to throw a tantrum because she could not control the substance in the glass. Simply get it cleaned up, so the person can calm down and talk rationally.

• 4

  Focus on "feeling words" during the conversation. Try to get the angry person to express what he is feeling instead of turning it on you or someone else in the room. Instead of "you did" or "they did," try to get him to speak in terms such as "I feel" and "I can." The more he can express his emotions, the less angry he feels.

• 5

  Wait until the episode has passed before you express your feelings about the situation. You might be upset about things that were said, but wait until the angry episode is over so the person in question can receive that information rationally and process it properly.

• 6

  Get help for the individual with anger issues. In most instances, unless you are a professional therapist, you cannot help a person with anger management. A therapist can get to the root of the anger and teach the personal techniques to employ when she feels the anger rising.