How to Forgive Him for Cheating

Forgiveness is often difficult to grant, especially if someone has cheated on you in a romantic relationship. When your trust is betrayed, many negative emotions come to the surface. You might feel angry, frustrated, depressed and humiliated. To endure the process and reach your goal of forgiveness, you must take several steps. These steps require patience and time, so allow yourself the appropriate space to heal.

Instructions

• 1

  Stand up for yourself. The first thing to remember is that this is not your fault. Your partner made the decision to be unfaithful. More than likely, you've both done things wrong to lead up to this point, but he chose to sleep with someone else instead of communicating his issues with you. Don't let him blame you and don't blame yourself. Stand up for your own dignity and tell him that you're taking your power back in the relationship.

• 2

  Sit with your feelings. Understand that negative emotions will come when you are betrayed. Don't bottle them up inside. Instead, embrace them and allow them to run their course. If you feel angry one day, don't hold back because you're afraid to make your partner feel guilty. He put you in this situation and though you don't need to intentionally make him suffer, you are certainly allowed moments of frustration.

• 3

  Talk to others. Being the victim of cheating is not something to be embarrassed about. Many people go through this every day. Open up to friends or family members you can trust. Be honest about your feelings. Don't sugarcoat things by saying, "Everything will be fine" when you have doubts. By opening up to others, you allow yourself to be vulnerable again, a necessary step you have to take if you want to forgive your partner.

• 4

  Date your partner again. If you need time alone in the beginning of your process, by all means take it. When you are ready to spend time with your husband or boyfriend again, do it slowly. Allow him to take you on dates. Accept generous offers of flowers or gifts. If you need to, pretend you're starting all over again. Cheating is not always about sex. In fact, it's often about intimacy issues. Perhaps one or both of you have put up a wall, which led to the unfaithfulness. For forgiveness to occur, the wall must come down, piece by piece.

• 5

  Don't forget how you got here. Once you have forgiven your partner for cheating, be aware of the issues that brought you here in the first place. Don't dwell on them, but know what they are so if they begin to surface again, you can deal with them appropriately. Relationships require work and awareness from both people.