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Anger Management: Calming Techniques

"Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive---not aggressive---manner is the healthiest way to express anger," according to the American Psychological Association. However, expressing your anger assertively can prove impossible, inappropriate or unproductive at times. In these situations, use calming techniques to help manage your anger and avoid the unhealthy side effects associated with aggression and anger suppression.

  1. Timeout

    • Give yourself a timeout. First, try a mental timeout: Take a deep breath and count to 10. Then, if you're still angry, remove yourself physically from the source of your anger. As explained by the Mayo Clinic's "Anger Management Tips: 10 Ways to Tame Your Temper," this calming technique often defuses potentially explosive situations. A timeout to write in a journal or listen to music also helps restore calmness.

    Breathing

    • Calm your angry feelings by pausing to take deep breaths instead of responding instantly with a rude or aggressive comment. Breathe deeply into your diaphragm. Establish a count for each in-breath and out-breath, such as counting slowly to three as you breathe in, and then counting to three as you breathe out. Continue breathing deeply until you feel calmer. Breathing to calm down can require 15 minutes or longer to take effect.

    Exercise

    • Physical exertion provides you not only with an active timeout, but also with a chance to think through what caused your anger in the first place. Go for a walk or run, lift some weights or chop wood. While you're exercising, consider different ways to express and resolve your anger assertively without resorting to aggression. Slow stretching exercises like yoga can also help calm angry feelings.

    Meditation

    • Meditation techniques to calm anger include mantras and visualization. Develop mantras, or personal catchphrases, to repeat to yourself whenever you feel anger arising. "Relax," "breathe" and "calm" are simple guides to remember that tell your brain and body your desired response. Another calming technique involves a more complete visualization. Picture yourself somewhere peaceful, relaxing and safe, free from anger.

    Perspective

    • Ask yourself if you will still feel angry about this situation or incident in four years, in a month or even next week. Also, look for any humorous aspects of the situation. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to find a serious resolution to the angry situation, nor should you use sarcasm or ridicule others. It does mean recognizing the humorous and fleeting aspects of anger can help you regain a sense of calm.

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