How to Cope With an Emotionally & Verbally Abusive Husband

Emotional and verbal abuse -- forms of domestic violence -- wreak havoc on a marriage and may escalate into physical abuse. When a husband uses any form of domestic violence, it can leave a wife feeling frightened, lonely and ashamed. Additionally, abuse can lead to low self-esteem, trust issues, eating disorders, depression and even thoughts of suicide. It is vital for the wife of an abuser to maintain both her health and safety.

Instructions

• 1

  Recognize abuse. Some women accept verbal or emotional abuse if it is not accompanied by physical abuse. However, abuse is not just physical. It is a pattern of behavior that may include threats of harm, humiliation, isolation, blame, actions to frighten or intimidate, abandonment in dangerous places, deprivation, belittling, lying and even threat of harm against children or pets. Abuse usually involves the misuse of power in an attempt to dominate and control.

• 2

  Understand conflicting emotions. Many women in emotionally and verbally abusive relationships feel confused. Positive qualities, good times and intimacy conflict with tirades, threats and controlling behaviors. Often the victim is blamed for the problems, creating even more conflicting feelings. These are normal feelings for women in abusive relationships.

• 3

  Know your options. Some women in abusive relationships choose to leave; others choose to stay. Some ask their mate to seek help. While abusive men can get help to change patterns of abuse, they must be willing to admit the problem and seek specific counseling in domestic violence intervention programs. Whatever choices you make, knowing you have options available will help you cope.

• 4

  Care for yourself. Emotional abuse has a negative effect on a woman's health. According to the University of North Texas, women who are victims of this type of abuse have more reproductive problems; decreased functioning of their immune system; cognitive difficulties; emotional distress; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; and are at higher risk of sexually transmitted disease, depression and alcohol abuse. Seek regular health care by visiting your primary care doctor and seek counseling.

• 5

  Have a safety plan. A woman in an abusive situation should have a safety plan in place. This provides peace of mind and a way out in case the situation escalates. A safety plan may include abuse hotline numbers, information on legal rights, a survival kit (including money, keys and important documents), a verified place to stay and a separate savings account in your name.