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Stages of Grief & Mourning

Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross introduced five stages of grief in her 1969 book, "On Death and Dying." The five stages of grief, according to Dr. Kubler-Ross are anger, denial, depression, bargaining and, finally, acceptance. Some people experience all five stages, while others only experience a few. People also experience the five stages of grief in other situations, such as the loss of employment or a relationship.

  1. Denial

    • A person experiencing denial often has difficulty believing what is happening. Denial, according to Dr.Kubler-Ross, serves as a shield after receiving painful news. This stage of grief, often accompanied by shock or disbelief, allows the individual time to access the news and, eventually, begin to deal with the loss.

    Anger

    • A person in the anger stage of grief tries to make sense of the loss. Anger often erupts and questions such as "Why did this happen to me?" or "Who did this?" come into play. A person may blame another for the loss in an attempt to make sense of it all. In some cases, a loved one may even blame her dying friend or family member, thinking things like, "This is all because he chose to be a smoker," or, "If only she had listened to me when I told her to see a doctor..." Admitting anger towards a sick person can be difficult; therefore a person may experience this stage secretly.

    Bargaining

    • Bargaining is the stage in which a person tries to negotiate in order to spend more time with the person they are losing. "Give me one more chance and I will..." is a common bargaining statement. A person may agree to work more hours for less pay or, in the loss of a relationship, promise to stop or start an action if the other party agrees to give them one more chance. A terminally ill person in the bargaining stage may promise God to do something in exchange for more time.

    Depression

    • Depression signifies the point where the person actually deals with the sadness associated with the loss. Each person reacts differently in this stage. Some people may cry and feel emotionally unstable, while others may retreat and isolate themselves from others. Other common reactions include loss of appetite, lack of sleep, excessive absenteeism and low work performance.

    Acceptance

    • Acceptance means the person has come to terms with the loss and can move on with his life.There is no absolute rule that dictates when a person reaches this stage. Some may accept the loss within a few weeks, while it may take months or years for someone else.

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