Seven Stages of Grieving & Grief
People faced with a tragic loss or terminal illness diagnosis are known to experience a certain set of emotions. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a swiss psychiatrist, in her book On Death and Dying, describes these emotions as stages of grief. While different versions of the grief cycle differ in regard to the number and the order of stages, most follow the same or similar pattern.-
Shock and Denial
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Shock is the immediate reaction to tragic news. It is usually exhibits emotional paralysis and often has physical manifestations such as paling of the skin or shortness of breath. Shock is a defense mechanism against being overwhelmed by the pain. Denial follows this emotion during which the individual might act as if nothing is wrong. Denial is an attempt to avoid the painful reality.
Guilt and Pain
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Once a person realizes the reality of what happened he experiences intense suffering and emotional pain. In cases where grief is caused by loss of loved ones guilt for not being able to prevent their death or not doing enough for them or not loving them enough is also common. This is the most difficult and chaotic stage of grieving.
Anger and Bargaining
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At this stage the person in grief expresses intense frustration and often assigns blame for what happened to others. He might also try unrealistic ways to control or reverse the situation by offering something in return, which is known as bargaining.
Depression
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Accepting the tragic reality but not being able to cope with it leads to the depression stage. The grieving person experiences despair and sense of hopelessness and is often reluctant to act normally and is generally passive.
Testing
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This is the stage where the person starts to come out of depression and look for ways to get back to normal life. Testing is a breaking point in the grieving cycle where the person starts to feel better and contribute to his own recovery.
Reconstruction
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Reconstruction is the active stage of grieving where the person starts to look for and implement solutions and ways to improve his situation. Getting back to regular activities as a way to escape the grief is a part of the reconstruction stage.
Acceptance and Hope
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This is the final stage of the grieving process where the person learns to deal with the reality of the situation and regains the ability to move forward. Hope is another indication that the grieving cycle is nearly complete, with the person showing ability to be optimistic and positive about the future.
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