How to Move on After the Death of a Loved One

Nothing is worse than coping with the loss of a loved one. It feels like a piece of your soul has been removed, leaving you wounded and grieving to your very core. Moving on after such a loss isn't easy, and it takes time. But the process of grieving is also a process of healing. If you allow yourself to go through the stages--to move on when you feel ready, rather than some arbitrary timetable--then the pain leaves behind warm and lasting memories of your loved one, which give you strength in the years ahead.

Instructions

• 1

  Accept your feelings. Everyone grieves differently, and your emotions cannot always be predicted. You may feel shock and disbelief. You may start crying at unexpected times. There may be feelings of guilt over unresolved issues or things you said to your loved one before he or she passed. You might experience a sense of anxiousness, powerlessness or even physical sickness. Don't deny those feelings. Instead, allow yourself to experience them and accept that they're a natural and healthy part of the grieving process.

• 2

  Get support. Your friends and family are there for you, and numerous support groups exist for grieving family members (local hospitals, therapists and funeral homes can point you to such groups). You can turn to them when you need a shoulder to cry on or a little help around the house when you just can't bring yourself to get things done. They may not always understand what you're going through; they just need to care.

• 3

  Engage in your faith. This may not work for everyone, but if you draw strength from your religious beliefs, they can be a great source of comfort now. Attend services, pray, meditate or engage in whatever spiritual activities bring you peace. Speak to your priest, rabbi or other clergy member about your loss and take solace in their words.

• 4

  Take care of yourself. Grief can lead to feelings of lethargy and sleeplessness, which can result in a loss of physical health. Get a good night's sleep and exercise when you can. Stay away from alcohol and drugs, and eat healthy foods that boost your energy levels. You'll find a corresponding lift in your emotions.

• 5

  Express your emotions creatively. Write your feelings down in a diary, paint a picture, write a poem or put together a photo album dedicated to your loved one. It channels your grief in positive ways, allowing you to work through it more readily.

• 6

  Stay engaged in life. You need time to process your emotions, but that doesn't mean you should shut yourself off from the world. See your friends, enjoy the company of family members, go to work and do the things you enjoy doing. That doesn't mean ignoring your feelings or not giving yourself time to grieve; you can do that without becoming a hermit.