How to Confront a Primary Abuser

There are many different types of abuse and all of them can be very traumatic for the victim. Whether the abuse is verbal, physical or sexual, abuse can result in severe psychological problems for those who suffer it. Anxiety, sleeplessness, nightmares and alcoholism are all frequent side effects for those who have suffered from abuse at some point in their lives. Confronting an abuser can be a very difficult challenge emotionally, but it can sometimes provide a sense of closure for the victim. Confronting a primary abuser needs to be done carefully.

Instructions

• 1

  Determine the time and location. Many abusers enjoy the feelings of power that the abuse provides, so you need to take control over when and where the confrontation takes place. If there is a concern of violence, meet in a public place and have a friend with you. If it is a working environment, have a co-worker or supervisor present.

• 2

  Practice the confrontation before it happens. Confronting an abuser is stressful and it is easy to forget what you wanted to say in the heat of the moment. Practice with a friend or a therapist relaying the message you want to convey. Focus on what you want to say and what you need to express and not the reaction of the abuser, who is unlikely to admit any wrongdoing.

• 3

  Control the conversation. Abusers frequently love the feeling of power and superiority and as a result they can try to talk over you and control the conversation. Do not allow yourself to be cut off and have an exit strategy if the abuser refuses to allow you to speak your mind. If the abuser continues to try to talk over you, simply walk away. Be assertive and remember that you are there to speak your mind and to confront your abuser, not to listen to excuses or take more abuse.