How to Solve Conflict Problems

Fighting and backbiting occur in most aspects of daily life; whether you see yourself facing conflict with your loved ones or co-workers, you may see arguments form out of seemingly innocent exchanges. You obviously do not want to keep contributing to any conflict and most likely just want the conflict to end without the situation becoming worse. However, you will need to face your fears and figure out a resolution to the problem before the conflict becomes even more damaging.

Instructions

• 1

  Think about the conflict and its origins, as suggested by psychologist Nicoleta Cramaruc of LifeCho.com. Did you say or do something to a person or group of people to make them lash out at you? Or is someone you know being teased in a way you deem abusive? Ask yourself why the conflict has formed and how you, or the person in the middle of the conflict, contributed to the problem.

• 2

  Realize any mistakes you have made and change any problematic behaviors. If this is a workplace conflict, restrain from making others feel less hardworking than you. If you do not understand why people are angry with you, you may be presenting yourself as weak at work, which may lead to people teasing you and making you feel small. Stand up for yourself more and see if the conflict resolves itself.

• 3

  Confront the people with whom you have a conflict. You will want to approach them in a calm and rational manner, making special effort to listen to them patiently and never interrupt them when they speak. Try to understand why they have been behaving meanly, ignoring any assumptions you've made beforehand that they are just "difficult," as suggested by MindTools.com

• 4

  Find a solution that works for both parties. You will need to learn to compromise and negotiate a situation that leads to more tolerance between the two of you. Talk to the person about your personal desires without negating the importance of his in the process. Realize that compromising will lead to a more satisfactory relationship between the two of you, as well as less stress that could be making you nervous or anxious. Once you've reached a solution, the Office of Human Resource Development at the University of Wisconsin-Madison suggests writing this resolution down and having both parties agree to what has been written.

• 5

  See how the situation unfolds after you have reached an agreement. If you find that nothing changes, consider a consultation with a counselor or supervisor to figure out how to resolve the problem.