Anger Management Techniques for a Child

Children, like adults, experience anger that normally peaks and then wanes in conjunction with the circumstances that cause the anger. Sometimes, however, a child may be unable to control his reaction to anger and may strike out, harming others or himself. Children with anger-management issues may be disruptive in a class setting or in the home. With encouragement and guidance, these children may learn to control their anger.

Identification

• Learning to recognize a child's own emotional signals is an important step in helping her control her anger. HelpStartsHere.org suggests conducting an exercise in which the parent prompts the child to recall a time when she was angry and then asks her to remember how the different parts of her body felt, such as the way she was breathing, whether her face was red or felt flushed and whether she was clenching her teeth or a fist.
  Share age-appropriate stories with children that illustrate anger and the way the angry person reacted. Point out acceptable and unacceptable reactions.

Encouragement

• Children should understand that there is nothing wrong with their emotions, including anger, and they should be encouraged to feel free to experience a wide range of emotions as long as they control their reactions. Adults can alleviate the guilt some children feel concerning anger by explaining that it's normal for everyone to be mad at times.

Substituting Behaviors

• Teaching a child to substitute a calming behavior for an unacceptable behavior allows him to shift his focus away from a negative reaction before he acts. The Children's Hospital at the University of Michigan reports that a child can learn to blow pretend bubbles to calm himself when he becomes angry. The parent first uses real bubbles and then encourages the child to remember the feeling as he blows pretend bubbles. The child is then encouraged to remember the exercise and use it when anger strikes.
  By reminding the child frequently to practice substituting behaviors, he's more likely to use a substitute when an angry situation arises.
  Other substitute behaviors might include taking ten deep breaths, punching a pillow, squeezing a small ball or singing loudly to music. The more substitute behaviors a child learns, the more he can choose from when he becomes angry.

Focus on the Positive

• By rewarding a child's good behavior, you encourage more of the same. Praise the child for positive reactions and for modifying his angry behavior when he successfully uses a substitute.
  Illustrate positive behavior as a role model. Children learn from adults, so use nonphysical disciplines, such as time-outs, and do not react in anger in front of children.