How to Keep a Positive Outlook

If you have the mistaken notion that keeping a positive outlook on life is for those whose lives are free of the kind of stress you experience, then you need to know that it isn't a person's circumstances that cause a positive outlook. In fact, it is quite the opposite. A person's outlook on life is a major contributor to the amount of stress they experience as a result of their circumstances. Maintaining a positive outlook can actually cause you to experience less stress and see options that you may overlook if you are stressed out and wallowing in self pity.

Instructions

• 1

  Assess your negative self talk. For one day, record the number of negative thoughts and negative comments you make about yourself. Be honest here and be brutal. If you just told yourself that this might work for others but it won't work for you, count that as your first negative thought.

• 2

  Keep a pad and pencil handy and jot down every negative thought or comment. Write the exact words or thoughts so that you can see what you are telling yourself everyday. At the end of 24 hours, you will probably be amazed at the length of your list.

• 3

  Review your list of all the negative things you have told yourself in the past 24 hours. Scrutinize the list carefully. With a black marker, cross off everything on your list that is absolutely unfounded. "I'm so stupid," or "I'm so dumb," or "I can't remember anything," should be the first to go. This should narrow the list down considerably. Next, rephrase those items that you feel may have had some merit, but are simply over-exaggerated. If you told yourself that you are horrible at math because you miscalculated the cost of your grocery bill, rephrase it to, "Sometimes math is a challenge for me, but I'm improving everyday." Remember that the brain believes the thoughts and words we feed it. Changing your thoughts will change how you view yourself and others.

• 4

  Assessing your negative thoughts and comments about others is the next step. Even though it is vital that you stop your own negative self-talk in its tracks, you also need to stop viewing others in a negative light. You may not even be aware of how you view others negatively and may think you are just being realistic or honest in your assessments of others. If you are in the habit of pointing out what others do wrong or how they are falling short of your expectations then you are viewing them negatively whether or not you think your assessment is honest or realistic.

• 5

  Keep that pad and pencil handy and write down your negative thoughts about others. Be sure you include everything from, "This cashier is way too slow," to "The driver in front of me doesn't know how to drive." Any time a negative thought toward others enters your mind, write it down. Don't worry, you won't have to share this list with anyone. It is for your own self-discovery and will be used to improve your outlook on life.

• 6

  Review your list of negative thoughts and comments about others and brainstorm possible reasons for their behavior. Perhaps the cashier is recovering from illness or is still in training. That driver may be rushing a sick child to the hospital. Give others the benefit of the doubt and learn to consider other reasons for their behavior.

• 7

  Make a decision to view yourself and others in a positive light. It may be difficult at first, but you can do it. Look for the things you do well and tell yourself so. Make it a habit to talk to yourself in a positive manner. If you face particular challenges that you are working to overcome, tell yourself how well you are doing toward reaching that goal instead of constantly reminding yourself that you aren't there yet.

• 8

  Make a conscious effort to view others positively. Look for things they do well and comment on it. It may feel awkward at first, particularly if you are in the habit of "realistically" pointing out the flaws in others, but the more you practice the easier it will become. You don't have to condone bad behavior or lifestyle choices that you find offensive to view others positively. Everyone has wonderful qualities that you can focus on.

• 9

  Make it a challenge to find the good in every circumstance and with every person. Before you know it, your negative outlook will have changed to a positive outlook and you will find that you are much better able to deal with the everyday stress of life. Once you are free from the devastating effects of living in the constant stress of wallowing in the negative, you will soon begin to see all of life's opportunities in a clearer light.