Activities on Expressing Frustration & Anger

Anger serves a purpose: it lets you know when something is wrong in your world, that you are unsafe or that something is blocking your progress. Anger’s sister, frustration, occurs when you are prevented from realizing a goal. These emotions can be positive forces that prevent other people from taking advantage of you or that spur you to action.

However, if frustration and anger are handled inappropriately, they can be destructive. They can hurt others, destroy relationships and harm the angry person through health and mental problems. Anger and frustration can instead be expressed in a safe and positive manner.

Talk It Out

• Talking about your frustration and anger can be an effective way to express your emotions. Choose someone with whom you can be honest and will listen to you. By relating your anger, you may clarify your feelings and why they occurred. You can also talk to yourself or record yourself talking about your anger. When you replay the recording, act as if you were listening to a friend, considering whether this friend needs support, if he is overreacting or if you can advise him.

  Another version of “talk it out” is “shout it out.” It is okay to yell when you are angry. However, go someplace private to do so. Screaming at another person can damage your relationship.

Write It Out

• Writing is a second method for expressing anger. Since you will not send your writing to anyone, be as expressive as you like. If you keep an anger journal, review it periodically to see if certain types of situations trigger your anger. Then try to avoid or resolve the issue.

  You can also write down all the things that anger you, not just a specific episode. Next, prioritize the areas you want to address and write down possible solutions to the problem.

Be Assertive

• Assertiveness enables you to express your frustration and anger in a non-threatening manner. However, it also allows you to relate your needs and wants. First, let the person know what he did that upset you. For example, say, “You promised to rake the leaves but you didn’t.” Then, using an “I” statement, explain your feelings: “I’m angry. We’ll be tracking leaves in the house all next week. That causes extra work for me.” Last, tell the person what you want: “I want us to figure out a time when we can get the leaves raked.”

Take action

• A lot of anger stems from something you feel is wrong. Express that anger by taking action. Identify what is angering you and use the energy spurred by your anger to rectify the situation. Though you are angry, make a positive statement that delineates what you are fighting for. Then commit to your fight, determine your goal and plan your campaign. You will also want to enlist the help of others who feel as you do.

Recognize the Real Emotion

• Almost all anger masks another emotion: fear. Usually it is the fear of not being loved or respected. For example, when your spouse is late for dinner, you may angrily think she is self-centered. However, if you look deeper, you likely fear she doesn’t love or respect you enough to get to dinner on time.

  Once you have identified the emotion beneath your anger, address the issue. If your fears are unjustified, let them go. If they are justified, calmly talk with the person about your concern. Let her know how her actions or words make you feel, and search for resolutions to the problem together.

Exercise

• Exercise is also a means of expressing anger or frustration. Some people use the energy fueled by their anger to engage in strenuous exercise such as running, weight lifting, martial arts or basketball. Others prefer a more controlled type of exercise such as yoga or Tai Chi. After you are calm and thinking clearly, you can work with the person who engendered your anger to resolve the problem.