How to Get Over a Feeling of Guilt From Keeping a Secret

Many believe secrets are sometimes necessary to protect others from the effects of the truth. However, secrets can have negative effects on the people holding on to them. The physical, mental and emotional stress of keeping secrets often results from guilt. Whether it is better to refrain from keeping the secret or not, address and deal with your guilt in a timely and healthy manner.

Instructions

• 1

  Admit that the secret you are keeping is what is causing your guilt. Sometimes, if you don't want to give away your secret, you may not realize the secret is what is making you upset. Being truthful to yourself is the first step to getting over your guilt.

• 2

  Consider telling someone your secret. You don't have to tell everyone all at once. Choose one person whom you can trust to keep your secret, but whom can also give you advice on how to deal with it. For example, speak with a trusted teacher, coach, pastor, counselor or parent.

• 3

  Consider telling your secret to those who it would matter to, including those involved in the secret. To help you decide whom to tell, think about your guilty feelings. Ask yourself about whom you could tell to make the guilt better or worse.

• 4

  Write down a pros and cons list to help you decide whether to tell those people. Write down the worst things that could happen if you told and the best things that could happen if you told. Review the list and consider telling the secret to alleviate your guilt.

• 5

  Tell the secret to those involved if you desire. If you feel it necessary, apologize for keeping the secret. Talk it through and have the people you tell express their feelings about the secret. Write about your feelings in a journal and continue to talk with a trusted friend teacher, parent, counselor or therapist.