Emotional Liability With Argumentative Behavior

Let's say does something that makes you angry. You express your anger, you discuss the situation with the other person and the other person apologizes. Then you apologize for whatever you said when you were angry, and the moment passes. However, the arousal and expression of anger contains an emotional after-burn that can accumulate over time. When arguments stack up faster than your ability to recover from them, they can cost you your health.

Hormones

• The heat of argument has proven to spike hormone levels beyond healthy.

  An Ohio State University study of arguing couples showed that a female's hormone levels, specifically epinephrine, norepinephrine, and cortisol, corticotropin (ACTH), growth hormone and prolactin, remained at elevated levels well after blood would normalize. The harsher the wife's response in an argument, the higher the levels rose. Ronald Glaser, professor of medical microbiology and immunology, stated, "If those hormone levels stay up long enough, it can have immune consequences." Rather than suggest no argument, the study's experts suggest that the qualities of the disagreement contributed to unhealthy hormone levels.

Anxiety

• Post-battle: arguing's emotional price begins with anxiety.

  The statistical truth is that women are abused vastly more often than men. However, the psychological effects of abuse against men do compare with those reported by women. In the study "Psychological Effects of Partner Abuse Against Men," 75 percent of male respondents reported feeling angry; 40 percent reported being emotionally hurt; nearly 35 percent reported experiencing sadness or depression; and approximately 15 percent reported feeling shame or fear. That's a lot to worry about, for both participants in an argument.

Depression

• Abusive behavior in arguments can turn helpless into hopeless.

  In studies dating back to 1969, researchers have found a connection between marital arguments and the onset of depression. When arguments increase, so does the individual's vulnerability to depression. If argument is abusive, Dr. Brian Trappler maintains that, "The victim may feel unable to escape the 'repetition-compulsion' of continuing to find relationships where remaining attached is synonymous with the abdication of personal rights and self-dignity." Repetition of hostile or demeaning comments you make in an argument can cause depression in the person you're arguing with.

Self-Esteem

• An argument soaked with emotional toxins leaves you feeling less worthy of respect.

  Argumentative behavior may be an indication of a toxic relationship: a danger to your health. Plunging self-esteem can result when your fellow arguer treats you with the following: insecurity, abuse of power and control, selfishness, insecurity, self-centeredness, criticism, negativity, dishonesty, distrust and demeaning comments or attitudes.