How to Get Over an Unrequited Crush & Emotional Drain

Unrequited love, an eternal theme of the human condition, has inspired some of humanity's greatest art, poetry, myths and literature -- but there are other themes. Who really wants to be an artist, a poet or a writer, anyway? One-sided love is painful, debilitating and wrecks your sense of self-worth. To get over a crush and move on with your life, you must have faith in yourself and in your own value. You must decide to move on. Your heart cannot heal if part of you is still pursuing the object of your hopeless desire.

Instructions

• 1

  Lose hope. As difficult and painful as this may be, you must admit to yourself and accept that a hopeless crush really is hopeless. Decide to get over it. Your heart cannot mend, and you will be unable to move on, if you hold on to unlikely hopes that things may change.

• 2

  Confess your feelings. Tell the object of your desire how you feel, and show your understanding of the situation. Do not be defensive, accusatory or pleading, but be mature, respectful and matter-of-fact about it. Don't worry about endangering your friendship; friends should be honest with each other. The awkwardness of hidden feelings will do more damage to a friendship than an openly acknowledged lopsided crush. Confessing your feelings will help put them in perspective, making the crush more manageable, and you won't have to worry about having left anything unsaid.

• 3

  Focus on the people who do love you. Loving down a one-way street depletes your emotions and leaves you empty and apathetic. Replenish your emotional reserves by spending time with dear friends, family and loved ones who know you well.

• 4

  Take a trip. Go somewhere you haven't been before. In the novel "The Razor's Edge," Somerset Maugham notes that "love is a poor sailor." The pain and anguish of love and old heartache -- however intense -- seldom hold up to the thrill of discovery and the demands of meeting new people in a new climate. Walking through the same daily habits and routines brings you to the same thoughts and emotions. A new environment leads to new thoughts and feelings, pushing your crush out of your head.

• 5

  Look around to see who's looking at you. Infatuation acts like a pair of blinders. There may be somebody interested in you to whom you haven't noticed or paid much attention. Realize you do have something of value to offer others, and others have something to offer you.