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Problems With Adult Children

Building a positive relationship with adult children is possible even with difficulties in the relationship. According to the College of Consumer and Family Sciences, the time before parents enter their golden years is thought to be the best time in the parent-child relationship, when adult children tend to want to spend more time with their parents. But for parents who have struggles with their adult children, this time period brings fear regarding personal health, finances and leaving their child after death.

  1. Involvement in Health Issues

    • Adult children worry about their parent's health, and that worry can become overwhelming to the parents. Adult children may ask to attend doctor's appointments, discuss medications and push for additional testing. Parents can discuss boundaries regarding health issues with their adult children. This establishment of boundaries can include offering information about the health issues or offering access to medical records if necessary. Offering access to medical information allows the parent to attend doctor's appointments on their own and still gives the adult child peace of mind from worrying about medical concerns.

    Financial

    • Financial concerns can occur with adult children worrying about their parents finances. Long-term retirement and security are usually behind the adult child's worrying about financial issues in regard to their parents. Openly discussing plans for retirement and long-term care can help ease an adult child's worry over financial concerns. If more complex estate financial issues are at stake, a consultation with an estate attorney and the entire family can help everyone understand what steps need to happen for the future financial concerns in the family.

    Communication

    • The way a family communicates carries on long after the children become adults. So if communication issues were present during adolescence, they are likely to continue as the children become adults. Adult children may have difficulty expressing concerns or discussing important issues. Other communication issues parents might have with their adult children include the children not listening to their parents and the parents discounting their adult children's opinions. If communication problems are present between adult children and their parents, the issues have most likely been present for the entire relationship and are difficult to change. Learning to communicate positively takes extra effort from the parents and the adult children.

    Grandchildren

    • A very emotional problem parents can have with their adult children revolves the upbringing of the grandchildren. Adult children may not be raising their children in the same way their parents raised them. Child-rearing issues can be simple or more complex, but they can often erupt in fighting between parents and their adult children. In extreme situations, parenting issues can break up the relationship between adult children and their parents.

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