Barriers Preventing Effective Communication

Communicating effectively means expressing your opinions and ideas in a calm, understandable manner and, in turn, allowing the other person the same opportunity. When one person dominates a conversation, effective communication is impossible. Negativity and bitterness prevail, and one or both people abandon the conversation without properly resolving the issue. Without dignified and fair conversation, communication barriers arise and unresolved issues are inevitable.

A Controlling Tone

• Anger prohibits the other person from really hearing you.

  Using a controlling tone of voice to get your point across prevents the other person from really listening to your point of view. The message is, "I'm right and you're wrong," when someone speaks in a tone that is condescending and belittling.

Blaming the Other Person

• Turn the point on yourself instead of blaming the other person.

  When trying to express something that is upsetting or confusing to you, saying "you" do this or it's all "your" fault immediately puts the other person on the defensive. Using the "I" message approach will sound gentler and reduce stress in the receiver.

Acting Superior

• Using intimidation is ineffective.

  People who act superior in a conversation direct, advise or demoralize the other person in an attempt to get their point across. This kind of communication lends itself to withholding information on either side, which, in turn, fosters resentment in the relationship.

Dishonest Communication

• There is no point in talking about a problem or discussing something when one person is not honest. Circumlocutory communication is known as "talking around an issue," not addressing it. This deliberate behavior often includes a "we" statement, such as, "We don't like your work," when, really, only one person doesn't like your work.

Partial Communication

• Selective communicators tell the person only what they think they should know. This is unfair communication because it doesn't give the receiver the chance to make an educated decision, and puts the initial communicator at an unfair advantage. Calling a daycare center and asking if a child can still attend with a cold, while omitting the fact that the child also has a slight fever, for example, doesn't give the daycare center all the information needed to make the decision.

Not Listening

• Body language tells if you are listening or not.

  If one person is not listening to the other -- whether by talking over the person or with body language -- frustration mounts and points will need to be repeated. Both parties need a fair, uninterrupted chance to express their feelings.

Inability to Acknowledge

• If someone is trying to communicate something, acknowledging the person's feelings will help her to express disappointment. This can be accomplished without accepting the blame or even agreeing with the person. Saying things, such as, "I understand that made you insecure," or, "I realize now how angry that makes you," puts the other person at ease for continuing the conversation.

Anger

• Anger and rage limit effective communication.

  Being angry -- whether in a physical or emotional state -- only exacerbates the situation and squashes effective communication. According to the American Psychological Association, allowing all your emotions to spew out of your mouth is unhealthy and counterproductive when communicating. This simply escalates the anger and does nothing to help resolve the situation.