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Four Types of Conflict With Stress

Most of us unwittingly spend an inordinate portion of our daily lives literally bathed in stress. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines stress as a state of "bodily or mental tension resulting from factors that tend to alter an existent equilibrium." A number of different events can trigger the physical "fight-or-flight" mechanism that disturbs our sense of peace and balance. Identifying the types of conflicts that lead to stress is key to preventing those triggers.

  1. Family Conflicts

    • Home is supposed to be an escape from the everyday troubles of the world. It is difficult, however, to take comfort in a family situation that is itself the cause of unending worry. According to Dr. Lynn McDonald of the University of Wisconsin, family conflicts that induce stress can range from the minor (e.g., small changes in daily routines or one family member's refusal to perform chores) to the major and even life-threatening, such as domestic abuse. Family conflicts can be diffused through regularly scheduled family time designed to facilitate communication, understanding and bonding.

    Work Conflicts

    • There are generally two types of work-related conflicts: vertical conflicts between employees and superiors and horizontal conflicts between co-workers. Often, these conflicts arise from different ways of approaching problems generated in the context of a particular project or projects, or as a result of drastically different ideas for the ultimate goal of the project. Such conflicts can be squelched through cooperative team-building exercises or a simple meeting to iron out differences. Resolving these stress-inducing conflicts becomes more difficult when the root of the conflict involves critical personal differences between two workers. In those instances, it may be best to approach your supervisor about the issue and seek assignments that will keep you away from the other person.

    Legal Conflicts

    • Among the major conflicts that cause stress, legal conflicts are unquestionably the most difficult to control. Legal conflicts are ironically often the result of an inability of the parties to peaceably resolve a smaller conflict. The stress caused by legal conflicts often spills over into family life (especially in divorce and custody battles), work (especially in lawsuits involving employment issues), and personal finances with the need to pay often hefty attorney's fees. The best way to avoid legal conflicts is to practice some form of risk management in all areas of your life. Take the extra time and due care to avoid any negligence that might land you in a courtroom. The small "down payment" stressor is well worth it.

    Minor Day-to-Day Conflicts

    • Unlike legal conflicts, the small conflicts we engage in every day are more or less completely within our control. Most of our stressors come from things like bill payments, road rage incidents on the freeway, poor customer service at the drug store or a problem accessing the Internet. We cannot prevent all of these conflicts. However, if we acknowledge them and choose to accept that they happen, we can dramatically minimize the toll they can take on our stress levels. The key is to notice when these minor irritants occur and catch them before we react to them. As Stephen Covey notes in "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," "between stimulus and response is the freedom to choose."

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