Managing Loss & Change

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a doctor working with terminally ill patients, developed the five stages of grief theory, described in her book, "On Death and Dying." This theory has also been applied to other major losses that bear many similarities to death. These include the loss of a relationship, a job or even a home. Coming to terms with a big loss is one of the biggest challenges of a person's life.

Instructions

• 1

  Allow yourself the time to come to terms with a major loss. Do not try to carry on as normal, although for some people it helps to continue with a routine. Take care of yourself, making sure to incorporate exercise and fresh air into your daily life. Eat small meals regularly, trying to tempt your appetite with some of your favorite foods. Allow your mind and body to adjust at their own pace.

• 2

  Remember the person who has gone, if you have suffered the death or loss of a loved one. Look at photographs and listen to evocative music, but do not spend all your time doing this. Take advantage of the offers of kind friends to listen. However, if you feel you cannot talk to close friends or family members, ask to be referred to a professional counselor or support group.

• 3

  Aim to keep some structure in your life. if you have lost your job, try to get up at the same time each day, approaching your search for a new job as you would a day's work, setting yourself tasks and targets. If you have lost a person, you may find it helpful to do something in his memory, such as starting a charity fund, or planting a tree. If you have separated from a partner, do not be tempted to erase all memories by burning letters and photographs, but put them away untile you are able to look at them more calmly.

• 4

  Recognize that feelings of guilt and anger are normal following a major loss, though you may not be able to see them as logical. Accept that there are no shortcuts, but that you will find some form of acceptance at the end of this difficult journey.