Steps of Coping With Death

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a well-known book on grief, "On Death and Dying," in which she identified five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Some people find this theory helpful and identify with it. However, though there are certain common emotions among the bereaved, there is no definite pattern and no rules on how a bereaved person should behave. The death of a loved one is one of the most difficult things in the world to cope with, and the bereaved person should ask for the help and support she needs.

Instructions

• 1

  Allow yourself to feel very sad and to grieve. This is normal, and trying to suppress the intense emotions can cause you to be depressed later. Even though you may feel annoyed when people say that time will heal, accept that time will help you adjust to this huge loss. Trust your instincts. If you feel you need to have some time off work, negotiate this. Many people attempt to carry on normal activities too soon after the death of a loved one.

• 2

  Look at photographs, listen to music and allow yourself to remember special times spent with your loved one. These memories are precious, and will help the healing process. Accept the support and help of friends and family members, but also tell them when you need some time to yourself. Some people find organizing the funeral provides a focus for the initial intense feelings of grief and is also an opportunity to say goodbye in a special way.

• 3

  Join a local support group for bereaved people if you think this will be helpful. No two bereaved people are the same and no two losses are the same, so don't feel that you should be reacting in a specific way. Accept feelings of guilt as one of the stages of bereavement, something that many bereaved people feel.

• 4

  Accept that some people will not know how to behave in your company, and this may cause them to avoid you. Try not to let this upset you too much. They may be frightened of saying the wrong thing. Accept offers of help from those who are able to support you.