How to Get Clarity on an Emotional Issue

Nathanial Branden, Ph.D, psychologist and self-esteem expert, pioneered an effective and surprisingly simple technique for exposing the hidden emotional issues that can keep you from accomplishing what you want. For example, you might want to start a home-based business, but you can't take the first step and you don't know why, or you want to lose weight, but you find yourself sabotaging your progress after you lose the first ten pounds. Exposing these hidden emotional issues can give you the clarity you need to address them and accomplish your goals.

Things You'll Need

• Lined paper
• Pencil

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Instructions

Making Your List

• 1

  Write, "The bad thing about" at the top of your lined paper and add what you want to do or accomplish, ending your phrase with "is." For example, if you want to start a home-based business, you would write, "The bad thing about a home-based business is."

• 2

  Underneath this phrase write out at least six (preferably more) legitimate responses to this phrase. For example, if you want to lose weight, you might include, "I'd have to spend money on new clothes," or "I won't have any energy."

• 3

  Write out your responses as quickly as you can, without evaluation or censorship. Include responses that might be contradictory, or even illogical. Keep writing until no more responses come to mind. The responses most likely to elicit an "aha!" feeling tend to come towards the end, so keep pushing until you can't find anything else to write.

• 4

  Review your list for easily-addressed issues. For example, if you realize you are reluctant to start a home-based business out of fear you will feel isolated, take a moment to see how you could overcome isolation by working at a coffee shop, or by joining an association of people who do similar work.

• 5

  Circle the one or two remaining items in your list that cannot be easily addressed. These are the emotional issues are most likely keeping you from taking the action you want to take.

Going Deeper

• 6

  Write your responses without evalutation or censorship.

  Set your "bad things" list aside and, on a new sheet of paper, write the phrase, "The scary thing about (enter a circled phrase here) is..." and complete this new phrase with as many responses as you can, without evaluation or internal censorship.

• 7

  Repeat this same process with any remaining circled items you have from your first list.

• 8

  Review your list of fears. Don't be surprised if you laugh out loud at some of them; fears have a way of dissolving when you articulate them.

• 9

  Determine whether one or more of your previously hidden emotional issues should take precedence over your stated goal. For example, if one of your responses was that your marriage would be negatively affected by what you want to achieve, then perhaps dealing with your marriage is more important than achieving your goal. Uncovering this hidden emotional issue allows you to take appropriate action.