How to Deal With Someone Who Is Negative All the Time

Negativity robs a room of joy in an instant. Everyone has a bad day once in a while, but some people seem to thrive on complaining and being generally grumpy. Most people who are negative all the time probably do not even realize how negative they really are, or the consequences of that negativity. (Negative feelings and words tends to create more negative feelings and words, for example). You don’t have to allow a negative person to pull you down into his or her sad, grumpy world. Even if it is a colleague, and you cannot simply walk away, you’ve got other tools you can use to diminish some of that bad energy.

Instructions

• 1

  Keep your body relaxed through deep, calm breathing. Negative statements and grumbling from another person may automatically make you tense up, even if the negativity has nothing to do with you. It’s just human nature. Make sure you stay relaxed, as difficult as that might feel at first.

• 2

  Smile at him when he approaches you. It is difficult to start or continue complaining and grumbling when other people are smiling. This doesn’t mean you should flash a fake, condescending smile--try to make it as genuine as possible.

• 3

  Say something positive in response or nothing at all, if the person is complaining about another person. When people complain directly about another person, they are looking for your agreement that so-and-so is bad, or at fault and so on. When agreement isn’t forthcoming, the negative person will give up talking to you about it. If she says, for example, that the whole company is awful and the boss is a liar, don’t agree or disagree--and change the subject, if you can.

  Dr George Simon, Ph.D., writing on the website Counselling Resource, suggests trying to reframe statements with a more positive statement, or simply not saying anything at all. Never argue with the negative person.

• 4

  Approach the negative person about the negativity--but do this only if this person is a friend or loved one. (Most people will lash out at a stranger or colleague who calls them on the negative attitude.) Sometimes a person simply isn’t aware she or he has become so negative; negativity can become a habit of sorts. If you choose this tactic, do it gently and with love. It could be something more serious is going on (depression, for example) than grumpiness.

• 5

  Take good care of your own emotional health and attitudes. The more positive you are, the less a negative person can affect you.