How to Help Children Heal From Domestic Violence

Helping children who have seen domestic abuse or been the victim of it is challenging. Results vary because of the difference from child to child. Since no child is the same you are not guaranteed an easy time while trying to protect and nurture the children. The ages of the children also impact your success rate as well as what methods you use to nurture and speak to them. Helping a child victim of domestic violence can be challenging, but not impossible.

Instructions

• 1

  Begin by becoming involved in the child's life as a friend and a supportive adult. Understand some children may pretend nothing has happened, while younger children may feel overwhelmed and older children may simply want to talk to their peers about what happened rather than adults. Approach the child with these ideas present in your mind and don't give up on communication with the child if you are certain he is witnessing or experiencing domestic violence. Determine what exactly you will say to the child and how you can specifically help before approaching the child. Different aged children respond differently to various questions and interference in their personal lives.

• 2

  Give the child a sense of safety. Work with schools and community centers. These environments may help the children find their voices and grow and mature into loved and healthy adults. Recreational outings, sporting events, art, tutoring and team activities to build their social skills help rebuild a sense of safety in the children.

• 3

  Allow the children to share their emotions if they wish to do so. Remember differently aged children will communicate in different ways, but all children, if they are able, will vocalize with you if they trust you enough. Younger children from birth to age 6, if unable to vocalize their feelings, can be asked if they are scared and would like to be held. You can also use storybooks to illustrate emotions with the children. You can also allow them to draw pictures to express their emotions. Children of all ages should be allowed to talk about their experiences if they wish to do so. They need to be listened to without judgment and responded to calmly. They may need help identifying their feelings so it may be helpful to ask them how they are feeling. Encourage the children to write or draw representations of their feelings if they choose to. You may ask them if they are feeling down and recognize they may have unresolved feelings about the abuse. Praise them for sharing their feelings. Be supportive and encouraging.

• 4

  Contact the authorities or 911 if you cannot get through to the child but you know there is a persistent domestic violence in the home and you worry for their safety. Sometimes children require more help than you can possibly give. That is when it is time to involve professionals, let them make assessments and do their jobs uninterrupted. Symptoms of children who may need professional help include: frequent nightmares, angry outbursts, regular illnesses, weight loss or gain, problems at school, anxiety, depression, drug abuse, risk taking and trouble with the law. Abused children may also go to great lengths to avoid the place where the abuse is occurring. The police will have avenues of matching children with adequate services that you may not.