How to Prevent Domestic Abuse

Not everyone involved in domestic abuse is a victim or abuser. There are concerned parents, friends, family and community members. There are those who have never experienced domestic violence in any way but want to help those who have. Sometimes it can seem difficult to help, but with these tips, it is an easy task. Not all abusers are men, but because the likelihood of the man being the abuser in domestic abuse is higher, "he" will be used for the abuser and "she" for the victim. Read on to learn how to prevent domestic abuse.

Instructions

Start With the Children

• 1

  Teach your child about violence early. Tell him how you expect him to express himself when he is angry and what is not allowed. Teach him how to treat others with respect.

• 2

  Spend time with him, even if you don't do anything in particular. Let him know he can talk to you anytime.

• 3

  Listen to what your children say as they get older. How does he talk about girls? Ask him if he has ever seen any abuse or knows someone who is being abused. Let him know that it is not OK.

• 4

  Watch TV with him or listen to his music. Talk about shows and songs that encourage treating women badly. Make sure he knows to treat women with respect, especially while dating.

• 5

  Be a role model by treating people how you want him to treat others. This includes your talk while driving, talking on the phone to the utility companies and telemarketers, and other people who upset you.

• 6

  Show your daughters how men should treat them by treating her and your wife with respect if you are a man and by not allowing men to be disrespectful to you or her if you are a woman.

• 7

  Obtain counseling for children who have already been exposed to domestic violence, as well as yourself.

Know the Signs of an Abuser

• 8

  Know that jealousy and controlling behavior are not normal. These are signs of insecurity. An abuser may question your whereabouts and whom you spend time with or claim that you are cheating. He may not allow you to see friends and family, spend money or even use the phone.

• 9

  Refuse to take blame for your significant others' problems and feelings. An abuser will claim it is your fault when he has problems or gets upset. He may take everything personal. He may have mood swings.

• 10

  Be wary of dates trying to move too quickly. An abuser often will want to become engaged or move in less than six months or a year of dating. He may expect you to take care of him.

• 11

  Leave at the first signs of violence. Threats of violence should be taken seriously, even if your significant other says he is joking or he always talks like that. Abusers may break or throw objects or be verbally abusive.

• 12

  Refuse to tolerate cruelty to animals or children. In addition, if your significant other seems to enjoy pretending to hurt you or does not stop when you tell him to, this should be taken as a warning.

• 13

  Refuse to allow disrespect. An abuser may treat waiters, family members or co-workers with disrespect. He may not respect privacy of others, especially you.

• 14

  Keep looking if your significant other has mentioned that he believes men should be in control, women should serve, obey and submit, or that the man is the head of the household. Pay attention if he has admitted to abuse in the past, especially if he blames it on his victims.

Seek Help

• 15

  Call 911 if you have just hurt someone.

• 16

  Dial [phone], the National Domestic Violence Hotline, if you need to talk because you have just hurt someone or think you are about to hurt someone. They will recommend programs to help you such as individual or group counseling or batterer treatment programs.

• 17

  Accept help and work hard at changing perceptions about women. You can change, but it will mean a lot of hard work.

Report Abuse

• 18

  Report suspected domestic abuse. Call 911 to do this. You can protect the victim by calling for help. Realize that any suspicions will be investigated before anyone is charged with domestic abuse.

• 19

  Remember that all reports are confidential. You don't even have to give your name.

• 20

  Realize that the possibility of abuse after the cops leave is high. If this does happen, just call the cops again. When they see that things are worse than when they left, they will know that the woman is in danger. This may cause them to help more than if there was no further abuse.

• 21

  Educate human resources personnel, managers and employees about domestic violence and how to help victims. Talk to the human resources department about this, especially if you suspect abuse with an employee.