How to Deal With Someone Who Cuts Themselves

When someone we know engages in self-injurious behavior, it is very difficult to understand and deal with and can often lead to feelings of helplessness for friends and family. In addition to self-cutting, other forms of self-injurious behavior may include punching themselves or other things, burning themselves with cigarettes or lighters, pulling out hair, poking themselves or breaking bones. Instead of wondering what to do, take practical steps to help someone who cuts themselves.

Instructions

• 1

  Educate yourself. The more you understand and are able to empathize with the person hurting themselves, the more you can effectively be there for them. When researching, try to stick with resources written by someone with medical credentials or firsthand experience, and be realistic as to the impact you will have. Ultimately, it is up to the person to seek and receive help, and there is nothing that you can do or say to make that happen.

• 2

  Acknowledge the person's pain. According to the S.A.F.E. Organization (Self-Abuse Finally Ends), self-injurers report that reasons for cutting and other harmful behaviors include not feeling understood, feeling empty, feeling lonely or as a way to release the pain they are in. No matter whether it is a situation you can relate to or not, acknowledging their pain shows them that it is real to someone else, and that they don't have to deal with it alone.

• 3

  Ask the person to talk to someone they trust. Treatments for this type of behavior can range from outpatient therapy to inpatient hospitalization, but in order to get to that point, the person hurting themselves must be willing to talk to someone and face their situation.

• 4

  Offer ways to boost self-esteem. GirlsHealth reports that self-esteem can be a major contributor to self-destructive behavior, so helping someone boost their esteem could at least point them to recovery. Activities such as volunteering in the community, learning new crafts or skills, practicing saying positive things about yourself out loud or any other activity that ultimately leads to positive self-thinking or puts the focus on something more global can boost self-esteem.

• 5

  Identify particular stressors and help explore different coping methods. Even when someone is doing better, stress can be a setback mentally and physically. Pinpointing the specific things that set someone off may give the opportunity to choose an alternative method to cutting in order to cope. A few coping methods include exercising, working on something enjoyable or talking with someone.