How to Increase Your Safety Within an Abusive Relationship

Leaving an abusive relationship is one of the hardest things a person can do. It often takes several attempts before a person leaves a batterer for good. But there are steps you can take to increase your personal safety even within the context of an abusive partnership. These steps will not only increase your safety in the home but will prepare you to eventually leave the relationship.

Instructions

• 1

  A list of important numbers will be very important if you have to leave home.

  Write a list of important phone numbers on paper and keep it on your person at all times. Include numbers for the police department, the local women's shelter, a 24-hour domestic violence hot line, your primary care doctor, friends, and family.

• 2

  Tell neighbors you trust to call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from your home. You do not have to tell them why.

• 3

  Write a list of safe places you can go if you should have to leave in a hurry, and keep this list on your person. Safe places can include friends' homes as long as these are friends that your batterer either does not know, or does not know how to contact.

• 4

  Opening your own PO box will allow you to receive mail that your batterer will not be able to read.

  Safeguard your privacy. Acquire a post office box for your personal mail. Open your own savings account.

• 5

  Creating a bag of essentials will make it easier to leave in a hurry.

  Fill a bag with essentials. These are things that you will need to take with you if you choose to leave your batterer. They include all legal documents and forms of identification, a photograph of your batterer, keys, medications, a change of clothes and an address book. Hide this bag where you can access it easily in the event you have to flee.

• 6

  Back your car into your driveway when you park. This will ensure you can leave in a hurry if you have to.

• 7

  Your code word should not be an obvious one like "help," "police" or "emergency."

  Create a code word with a trusted friend, family member, or professional. Explain that when you use the code word during a phone call, the person hearing it will call the police.

• 8

  You never know when you may have to make a call.

  Keep change for pay phone calls with you at all times.

• 9

  A trained professional can help you think of other ways to increase your safety.

  Talk about your options with a professional. A domestic violence advocate or a public health worker trained to aid survivors of abuse can help you brainstorm other ideas about how to increase your safety within a violent relationship, and how to plan an exit strategy when/if you choose to leave.