The Effect of Verbal Abuse on Children

Verbal abuse against children comes from many directions. Children can be verbally abused by parents, teachers, other adults or other children through bullying, individually or in groups. Whoever the source, it is a misconception to assume that the child is able to ignore abuse and go about his business unaffected. The most destructive aspect of verbal abuse for children is that it can continue without being detected while the child suffers. Emotional and psychological abuse scars can last a lifetime.

Power Imbalance & Loss of Trust

• An actual or imagined power imbalance is the most common aspect of verbal abuse. Children are dependent on most adults with whom they come into contact. They are naturally dependent on their parents, teachers and other adults to supply their needs. Children are vulnerable as the less powerful individual in relationships with adults. When a child is abused by an adult, she learns not to trust those who are supposed to provide her needs and protect her. When abuse continues, mistrust is generalized to others. The child may come to expect abuse and develop passive behavior patterns.

Passive Behavior Patterns

• Passive behavior patterns are defined as patterns of behavior that respond to the false assumption of the verbally abused child, or later adult, that the same imbalance of power he or she experienced as a child with abusive others, continues to exist in relationships later in life. Such assumptions produce patterns of allowing abuse or insult from others to continue in spite of the negative consequences involved. The verbally abused child develops into an adult with expectations that verbal abuse will take place, and that he or she will be powerless to stop it. In most instances the individual is more likely to allow bullying by other children, and possibly physical abuse, later in life.

Aggressive Tendencies

• Some verbally abused children develop aggressive tendencies, emulating the behavior of their abusers and becoming bullies themselves. Such children may engage in delinquent behavior, antisocial activities, and become perpetrators of domestic violence. They may turn their anger inward, becoming self destructive.and engage in substance abuse. It is well known among substance abuse treatment professionals that most female substance abusers were verbally, sexually or otherwise abused as children; and that many male substance abusers were also verbally abused as children. It is also well observed by substance abuse treatment professionals

Delayed Development

• The Parents Zone, an Internet community education publication, reports delayed development as the most prominent effect of verbal abuse on children. The publication states that verbally abused children develop slowly in all areas, including physically, socially, emotionally and academically. Verbally abused children continue to experience problems in interpersonal relationships and tend to fall behind in career development as they become young adults. Many eventually develop mental disorders and become depressed or anxious.

Prevention/Solution

• Verbal abuse is more difficult to detect than physical abuse, but has long-term effects that are every bit as destructive. Mandatory reporting laws are in affect for teachers, counselors and others who might detect problems in mistreated children, but all too often suspicion of verbal abuse is not taken seriously. Teachers and other professionals should be encouraged to teach parents and children about the destructiveness of verbal abuse and encourage assertive behaviors in children that stop it from happening. Anti-bullying programs are in effect in many grade schools.